#idk why this happens but every so often one of my art posts will get eaten and wont show up in my art tag unless i search in a specific way

[chibishortdeath]

Haven’t drawn him in his CV1 era design in a while. I think his neck is a little long lol, but otherwise I’m pretty happy with this doodle :3.

[r0ryy]

hate when I make a post and it doesn't show up in my tags >:(

[youremyheaven]

Mars, Abandonment Issues, Violence & Conflict

TW: murder, r4pe, abuse, domestic violence, suicide, gaslighting, mommy issues

This is a topic that is extremely close to my heart for various reasons. I'm putting this disclaimer up here because this post is going to be very raw and perhaps disturbing.

Please do not read it if you're not up for reading about violence & conflict of all kinds.

Mars in Roman mythology is the God of war, bloodshed and murder. In Vedic astrology, the planet of Mars is associated with power, action, drive, ambition alongside anger, war and impulsiveness.

Mars influenced women are often considered sex symbols and attract envy for their heightened sensuality. HOWEVER, something that seems to accompany all this is being subject to and enduring abuse.

Very broadly speaking, it can be said that Martian men often tend to be abusive and Martian women often endure abuse. In this video about the most evil zodiac signs , Mars-ruled naks were among the top indicators of someone being prone to violence. It's a very literal interpretation of Mars obviously.

Mars is considered the commander of the celestial army. Mars is the Roman God of War and Agriculture. It is a dry, fiery, masculine planet and a malefic. There are two sides to every coin and while the same energy and willpower can be channelled in positive way, it can very often be channelled in ways that are destructive and hurtful.

Khloe Kardashian- Mrigashira Moon

I feel like out of all the Kardashians, Khloe has suffered the most in her romantic relationships. Unfortunately, Mars is a malefic planet and people born under Mars influence are called Mangliks and they are said to have Mangal dosh ("mars defect" quite literally). This defect affects personal and romantic relationships the most. I think her Ardra stellium also contributes to her largely unhappy experiences in relationships. Ardra is very inauspicious for marriage.

From rumours of Khloe not being Rob Kardashian's biological daughter (she's allegedly OJ Simpson's lovechild with Kris and its very common for Mars individuals to not have a proper father figure growing up) to her being publicly cheated on by Tristan Thompson not once but several times and STILL choosing to have another baby with him?? Khloe has been very unlucky in love

Khloe and Kim also have nasty tempers and are super foul when they need to be. This is another Martian trait.

Kim Kardashian- Chitra Sun

idk how she managed to stay married to a man as horrid as Kanye for like a decade,, she's sooo brave honestly. I feel bad for her because I feel like Kim has never been loved </3

Given the way Kanye treats Bianca, we get a glimpse into what he is like as a man. I am not claiming he was abusive or violent towards Kim because we do not know that. However, I wouldn't put it past him.

However, like many Martian individuals, she is careful to not hurt her children. Watch this clip, for example.

Judith Barsi- Rohini Sun & Mercury, Mrigashira Moon

Judith was a child actor who was active in the late 70s and early 80s. Her parents had a really horrible marriage and her father murdered her and her mom when she was 10 years old. It genuinely breaks my heart to even type that out because nobody deserves that. Martian women suffer SO much in life and have to be very wary of who they give their energy too. They are so guarded and protective and I completely get why. They HAVE to be.

Jennifer Lawrence- Mrigashira Moon

“Art more often than not is about one’s mother. I hesitate to say that because I would hate for somebody to go back and watch my movies, or watch this movie in particular, and think that that is the way that I’m painting my mother,” Jennifer Lawrence said.

“My mother is a wonderful person but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t still things from my childhood that I’m working out.”

“So many of my films in the past have been about my mother, my childhood. I wonder what will happen now that I’ll be witnessing somebody else’s childhood"

She's never really publicly dissed her parents but I have always felt like she didn't grow up in a household that was very accepting of her.

Glenn Close- Dhanishta Moon & Venus (Ashlesha Rising)

Glenn Close was a victim of a cult after her father joined, took off to work in Africa, and left his kids in Switzerland at the Moral Re-Armament headquarters. Close spoke about that time and shared, “You basically weren’t allowed to do anything, or you were made to feel guilty about any unnatural desire. If you talk to anybody who was in a group that basically dictates how you’re supposed to live and what you’re supposed to say and how you’re supposed to feel, from the time you’re 7 till the time you’re 22, it has a profound impact on you. It’s something you have to [consciously overcome] because all of your trigger points are.

Princess Diana, Dhanishta Moon and Marilyn Monroe, Dhanishta Moon

Both these ladies experienced a lot of neglect, abuse and emotional torment in life. I don't want to say too much about it because I feel like enough has been said about both their lives in the last several years. The conclusion is that these women had unhappy marriages and never really found love AND they grew up feeling very neglected.

Princess Diana was a really good mom and had Marilyn had children, perhaps she would've been to

One thing I have noticed with many Mars influenced individuals is that they may have suffered in life but they wouldn't let their children suffer the same way.

Eminem- Chitra Sun Dhanishta Moon

Eminem grew up without a father, and it's very common for Mars-ruled individuals to not have a father figure or grow up without a father figure. Eminem's relationship or lack thereof with his mum is pretty well documented so I won't go into that but despite the abuse and neglect he endured as a child, he has a very positive relationship with his children.

Gigi Hadid, Dhanishta Moon

I know Gigi had it better than Bella, but that does not mean she grew up well. Her mom literally told her to chew her almonds well; I don't know what else to say about this. Both the sisters are super close to their mom and live near her and everything so that will always be mysterious to me because its clear as day that Yolanda has been a questionable parent.

Dhanishta Sun & Mercury- Tinashe

Tinashe dated Ben Simmons, who two-timed her with Kendall Jenner in 2018, or moved on with Kendall, and Tinashe was apparently drunk for 6 months straight and called it the "worst day of her life" apparently

Coming back to the absent father theme, I have noticed this with many other Martians as well

The Weeknd (Dhanistha Sun) & Doja Cat (Chitra Sun, Rising & Rahu)

The Weeknd grew up without a dad and Doja also does not have a relationship with her dad. Marilyn Monroe (Dhanistha Moon & Jupiter) also didn't have a dad growing up.

All of them have abandonment issues as a result. Kind of random but all of them have a questionable dating history as well.

Martians have a "anything floats" kind of personality, and they really don't have a "type" and their dating history is often very diverse, eclectic and far-ranging and at times questionable.

Some well known abusers are also Martian:

Salman Khan- Dhanishta Moon

He physically abused Aishwarya Rai and got away with it

He also has a tendency to cast women that look like his ex after he breaks up with them

Aishwarya Rai and her doppelganger Sneha Ullal whom he cast opposite him

Katrina Kaif and her lookalike Zarine Khan whom Salman cast opposite himself

The pedophile and abuser Woody Allen is a- Dhanishta Moon

John Mayer who basically groomed Taylor Swift is a- Chitra Sun & Mercury

He has said horrible things about all the women he's dated, including Jessica Simpson whom he dated on and off FOR YEARS

"Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.'

Simpson said she was humiliated by this quote. This is what I mean when I say Martian men have no manners. Imagine dating someone and then publicly saying this about them ugh

Tom Hardy- Chitra Sun

Tom Hardy is known for a controversy that occurred during the filming of Mad Max: Fury Road. Specifically, Charlize Theron and other crew members alleged that Hardy's behaviour on set was unprofessional, including lateness and verbal confrontations. Theron reportedly felt threatened and required a producer to shadow her on set. Idk how much of an asshole abuser you have to be for someone like Charlize Theron to feel unsafe around you.

There are lots more to say so stay tuned for part 2

[neflil]

Kullervo, Kullervo, would you feel up for talking about your inspirations for your latest piece with Hallow? (You're killing it with the value work, great job, the compo is absolute cinema)

YESS !!! YESS PLEASE LET ME TALK ABOUT THEM (this is me being delusional for the next 5-10 minutes)

Also hey, thanks! Been trying out new stuff and exercises with art :3

SO

This originally started over on twitter, under a post saying "give me your harrow headcanons" - with someone responding that "..something something Harrow wants to hangout more around Kullervo and wants to help him be absolved of his sins, every dagger being a reminder that Harrow somehow failed him"

I TOOK THAT- AND *RAN* WITH IT, AND I MEAN RAN. for like a day or two it was the only thing I could really think about, frid also came around and threw the banger of a line "a Kullervo proto with, just. so many scars. and a Harrow proto tracing each one and saying a prayer" and I just I died ok. That night I wrote 800 words worth of Them, half asleep at 3 am without another thought in my head (if anyone wants to read this for some reason lmk i also plan on continuing it cus i literally fell asleep writing it hdsjkhdjs)

Soooo here come my headcanons, and the reason why this piece was made. again from the start I knew I had to do Something about this, it was just so peak I couldn't leave it alone

the piece as a- piece, symbolism and all- is more of what was mentioned above. Harrow, shrouded in mostly darkness, holding Kullervo- pulling him out of the water (blood??) (or even lowering him in the water, wehwhehw). His hand resting between the empty spaces the daggers on his waist are. Kullervo in light, just- reaching out, tries to, doesn't fight him back or anything. *one could say harrow is holding him as if protectively, fiercely...*

idk its all Kullervos sins and his punishments. How he suffered through everything ((bc the orokin suck but ok sure whatever)) (I'm the #1 Kullervo apologist). Kullervo- the one who did wrong- being in light, while the one able to save him is in rather darkness, holding him close and reaching for a place that is a reminder to how much Kullervo has suffered... Absolute darkness behind them *but* where Harrow is standing....

Sins, absolving them, angst, both being locked in isolation for a long time, feeling hopeless but then hope just happened to appear next to you, the wholeeee package yknow

In the original sketch, I had Harrow look almost worried- holding Kullervo with a more gentle hold, curious, as if hes too fragile and will break. Buuuut I changed that and instead went for him looking more grounded, protective of Kullervo. (original sketch below)

The lyrics used are alsofrom a song called Soldier's Waltz by Olenka & The Autumn Lovers

Extra fun headcanons bc im crazy:

Harrow is selectively mute, mostly because being locked away for and not using his voice, but also bc that caused his voice to pretty much die out and become quiet and hoarser. So he chooses to not speak- he *does* speak when saying prayers though, quietly, unnoticeable

Kullervo cannot for the life of him be around others and its still weird to him, but enjoys having company around

Harrow is like a parent figure to Rell after the whole zariman incident

Kullervo feels undeserving of any form of kindness after everything he was put through, he thinks of himself as the worst guy alive, drowning in guilt

Harrow, even if he doesnt speak, has this air of duty and seriousness, might often seem aggressive towards others, and he doesn't tolerate a lot of things

Harrow also loves to spend time alone, in face he prefers it. But sometimes it can get to him. He really likes silent company

Also its kinda funny cus both Harrow and Kullervo are some of my favorite frames in general, but I hadn't made Kullervo- even after having everything farmed. Soooo I made him and I realized how FUN he is to play. I'm afraid he will be my new main lmfaoo. I literally fall for my own propaganda... (Harrow is someone I play sometimes and enjoy a lot, but recently I've been playing Citrine, and only Citrine)

Does this whole post make any sense? NO!!! but its a nefpost, nothing makes sense here, welcome, I'm so happy with them you have no idea!!! Kullervo, Kullervo, warrior born....

and hey, thanks for asking, in all honesty

[calamitymentality]

hiiii! did you see the WITW RTC movie? It was cool, but yannick has new stuff out about it that explains the truth more if you wanna know! Idk how to link here? Yannickmirko.com/blog and I think he has a pinned post about it?

https://youtu.be/chOm8dsff8U?si=6fVzSEwbcZ4qct_a

If it doesn’t add here his website and YT is his name I think #saverickypotts

Yes me and some online friends watched it on premier it was great for the most part. There was constant spam every time Elliott Loran’s Ricky came on screen, or anytime information about Corey was shared. The latter being my fault. Also a lot of crying after they explained what La La Love meant. That hit home.

While I enjoyed the first half of the documentary, I did not enjoy the censoring of the information and lack of accountability. I’m very appalled by this, and I think even if you haven’t watched the documentary, you should read the blog post/Youtube video. Fucking disgusting what happened. What’s still happening. Jesus Christ.

Anyways, Yannick Mirko has some very important things to say and I recommend checking it out for sure and reading it for yourself. It goes over things left out and their experience and the invasion of privacy. I’m so glad that they have come out with the truth, but it sucks all of this happened in the first place. Don’t let me summarise it for you, I highly encourage you to go read it. Here’s the blog post.

(Irrelevant but he also has an article on singing on HRT, which has really helped me get over the fear of that stuff. Like, if you’re planning on going on T and are scared of your singing stuff, like I was, please read it. Here’s that one.)

Anyways, they’re really fucking sweet please give them a read or a watch in general! Also since I swore every single post on here would have art attached here’s a quick Ricky sketch! (click fullscreen)

Note: my Ricky isn’t based off a specific actor, but I based some of him off the experience of my best friend, because they went through school using a wheelchair and crutches and are my closest (and dearest) frame of reference. Which we often used to get out of a lot of things because teachers didn’t know shit. (skill issue?)

Also, don’t be scared anonymous, why are you anonymous? I don’t bite, I promise 😇.

Stay safe, folks, sending love.

#saverickypotts

[notyournecromancer]

i keep seeing people on tumblr saying “if you like harry potter you are a bad person” “anyone who likes harry potter should go to hell” “liking harry potter makes u a transphobe btw” and it really bothers me to be lumped prejudicially like this but also most people making these posts are trans and i’m like ok fair of you to be pissed at j*r but… i just read silly fanfic on the internet and reblog queer af art of characters she spent all but three pages on… i get that the books are rife with the author’s prejudices and bigotry but we literally *fix* all that stuff in fan work…. why do i have to be treated like a literal fascist you won’t even have a convo with me just because ur making a blanket statement? makes my blood boil. i just want to enjoy gay fanfic idk about what the transphobic cunt says… how do you cope with this, if ever?

hello! how are ya?

oh boy do i have thoughts on this.

recently, i've been thinking a lot about this.

there have been a lot of assumptions made without me actually being asked what my thoughts on this are, so I'll jump on this and tell you what I think.

i think queer and trans people, people of colour, along with other 'minority' groups have a lot to be furious with her about. I think she's a despicable excuse for a human and the way she has acted so dangerously to the group of people who needed her stories the most growing up is one of the saddest things to happen in our lifetime.

as a queer arab woman in this space, i often ask myself how do I balance and walk the line of engaging in fandom whilst keeping true to my beliefs and protecting the people in this space. i think it's different for each and every person, but what I know for sure is that if there's one thing JKR hates, it's the queers. its the lgbtqia+ gang.

something I think about a lot is that making this place what it is for us and our trans friends is one of my favourite parts of finding fandom. Being able to facilitate and offer safe spaces for people who are targeted is another.

so i think one of the most fierce and beautiful ways we can and should reclaim this world from her is by being as loud and as proud here as we can. i don't think we should hide in the shadows and skulk around pretending we don't love the parts that she created. i think we should continue doing what we do, and making these works of art of who we are, what we love, and keep writing the stories of ourselves we want to see in the world.

because if not us, then who?

[dandelionjack]

sorry for the spam im just so so so pleased that a mutual of mine is now into andor and gets it in the same way i do. my andor hyperfixation only lasted 3-4 months but it was so glorious and also your timing is perfect to get right into season 2. i saw you haven't watched rogue one though and i do suggest watching that before season 2 comes out... idk what u know about the film but the context it gives on where these character's stories are going is so key to enjoying the show, I think. there's so much foreshadowing and retrospective set up it's crazy. the film isn't as good as the show but it's still arguably the best star wars film in terms of how tight the writing is and how good the acting and storytelling is... in my opinion. also how far into the show are you 👀 basically i just really want to talk about andor with someone watching it for the first time again because me and my andor mutuals have been here for years and it's sort of stagnating lol

thanks omg!! glad SOMEONE is enjoying my Posting. i just finished episode 8 last night (Narkina 5). i’m immensely impressed at the quality of it all — themes, motifs, character dynamics and personalities, and everything else; the props and costumes and settings, the worldbuilding — let alone, of course, the POLITICS. based on the character of saw gerrera for example it feels like the writers are quite familiar with the history of the left and its various fractions, their unity and animosity towards each other. resistance and discontent brewing on all levels of society, from the guerrilla fighters and insurgents of backwater colonised planets to the elites of coruscant.

now that nemik is gone (rest in peace intellectual firebrand twink) i’m most fascinated by mon mothma and luthen — conventional working class rebels are easy to sympathise with and easy to understand, it’s the upper echelons that are more inscrutable and less defensible in their actions and choices, which of course makes them more interesting characters.

like i said before, my favourite scene was probably the unprovoked arrest at the beach — andor trying and failing to escape his destiny, unaware that the things he has already done have set in motion a future that cannot be evaded. “it’s happening everywhere”. it really is. i know this is banal, but GOD is this show relevant for our times. blah blah capitalist realism, blah blah all revolutionary sentiment is co-opted and sold back to us, i KNOW. the fact that it was creates by a profit-seeking corporation doesn’t mean the art itself has nothing to say — quite the opposite, after all, the capitalists will sell us the rope by which to hang them! this is a controversial sentiment among cynical online leftists, but i am convinced that even a disney product can inspire revolutionary consciousness. any art can, especially art that is explicitly anti-fascist and pro- violent uprising

i also ADORE that the empire are competent here and that makes them scary. too frequently they’re made a joke of (i mean, ‘stormtrooper aim’ is a meme) which only sanitises their atrocities. in parallel to how fascists in the real world often hide behind “ridiculousness” (looking at you, trump administration). this show doesn’t shy away from peeling back the layers of this massive machine of repression.

but more than that, it demonstrates in a way i haven’t seen portrayed at all in pop culture much, the inherent and inextricable connection between capitalism, imperialism, and fascism. the prison-industrial and military-industrial complexes. the oppression of indigenous civilisations, pollution and ecological crisis. colonialism and environmental devastation. on the private, personal, political, public levels, it’s everywhere, it reaches its tendrils into every sector, and that’s why you have to fight back against it anywhere you can, whether by banging spoons against pots to drive corporate enforcers mad or by executing an elaborate fatally dangerous heist

fucking ace. there is hope for hyper-mainstream science fiction yet. give tony gilroy the key to all of star wars

[metaldwellerrr]

viv and palp both being down bad as hell. that’s the post.

and like…. the stupidity that comes with it….. they say or do things in the heat of the moment and then they’re like wait no. like palp catches himself staring and he’s just like “you’re so fuckin ugly” and viv is like what the hell

or like….. one of them watching the other, just completely fuckin enamored, and then something happens that snaps them back out of it- like. palp watching viv fight and viv catches his eye and is like “yo this sucks let’s gtfo” and palpers has to shake his head and like… etch a sketch his brain back into thinking mode instead of Gay mode

viv zoning out and just watching palp do whatever mundane task, palp is talking about whatever and is like “are you even listening” and viv has to be like uhhhh nah. palp is annoyed and viv is flustered cuz he knows why he wasn’t listening, palp doesn’t notice, and then the moment is just gone again….. locked in back to normal

i just really fuckin love the idea of them being so infatuated while also fighting for their lives to pretend they aren’t.. and them just being stupid ass little simps in general. like the drawing of palpers in the dress you made…… viv thinking lgbt thoughts…… genius

i’ll eat any art you make of them like i’m starving so keep it up man they are my lifeblood

no because i get you anon. grabs you by the shoulders and SHAKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!! i think vivilly finds a sad comfort in believing palpers doesn't love him the way he does. like,, it's fine if he thinks gay thoughts cuz it's not like they'll come true anyway. he can dream, right...? so he indulges in those feelings in his own time, while pretending like he only likes palpers as a friend it never strikes him that palpers might feel the same way. he’s thought over different scenarios a million times and while he doesn’t have a response for every silly thing palpers may say, he’s seemingly never caught off guard despite humoring him, kind of playing into the chill sarcastic stoic dude trope. but he’s not. he’s soft and he feels and he loves and the persona is a result of that with palpers i feel like he also does believe that vivilly could never reciprocate. when he looks at vivilly, he never knows what's going on in his brain. they do have their moments that sort of prove they have similar minds, but he never actually knows what vivilly’s thinking imo his brain is empty more often than viv’s is when it comes to thinking of his crush. a sus moment happens and he’s like “holy fuck….” but it’s glossed over almost immediately afterward. things happen in-the-moment for him, and he reacts with his true emotions and has less of a filter than vivilly, he gets louder and more aggressive (not with malicious intent, just in general as a silly guy) essentially they both are going "nah he can't like me... he CANT... THERES NO WAY" and theyre both dead fucking wrong im writing this using how i personally view the characters (my version of the characters? idk), i have a limited perspective and small perception of things (if you played mc with me you’d know…), i misinterpret stuff a lot, so like… idk. maybe it’s totally out of character for how you view them. it’s kind of cool to think about though, that they can be read so many different ways when none of them are inherently incorrect I TOTALLY CAN SEE THEM MINDLESSLY WATCHING THE OTHER ALSO. not caring about what the other might be thinking while looking at them, not noticing the other watching them equally as much… they’re so clueless it’s INFURIATING i like to imagine that when they flirt with each other, it’s always by accident. i can’t imagine them flirting with each other on purpose… like, they’ll be arguing absentmindedly, bickering or maybe laughing about something, one of them says one thing (most likely palpers) that catches the other off guard. they just continue to build off of that and i think the only thing that stops them from going too far is them getting too flustered to continue… they could be like two centimeters away from kissing (and they both want to) but they both back out because they’re about to fuckign explode from emotion “FINE. I’M GONNA- I’M GONNA KISS YOU, BRO.” “OH YEAH??? BE MY FUCKING GUEST, DUDE.” “BET.” “DOUBLE BET.” “T-... TRIPLE BET.” “bro. you gotta get closer than that…” "i know i know, just-"

in my opinion the only situation where i can see them ACKSHUALLYYYY confessing is like… the other’s health is in grave danger and it’s a last minute thing where they mihgt fucking lose them so they just tell them everything. viv comes back from a mine or smth on the verge of fucking splurging bleeding out and palpers holds him in his arms and begins sobbing and says i love you please don’t die over and over or something. viv survives but he was half unconscious throughout it so he doesn’t even remember. the pining continues

[kittycatcrackhead]

shane x farmer headcanon

TW: Alcoholism, EDs and body dysmorphia, and mentions of being suicidal.

Here's some headcanon stuff before i get to the depressing shit

Leon is 5'5", and Shane is 5'6" (funnily enough, leon was made to be short because i wanted him to be slightly shorter than shane, and i've always headcanoned shane as 5'6")

Neither one can cook. Leon has literally burnt down his kitchen before.

Leon is 27, and Shane is 34

Leon is horrible with kids, but Shane is surprisingly good with them (it's cause he tries to be a good uncle to jas)

Leon doesn't understand a thing about gridball, but it's fine cause shane loves to ramble and explain it.

Shane is transmasc, and uses he/they pronouns.

Leon uses he/him pronouns.

Shane wears exclusively crocs, even at work. It drives leon insane (he despises crocs).

Leon and Shane are both slobs, and it drives Leon's bodyguard Phillip (who also lives with them) fucking nuts. (phil is a part of their relationship, but i want to focus on leon and shane's dynamic here. i'll eventually make a post about a phil x shane dynamic)

Leon is somehow still a certified accountant (even after getting fired from his last job for accused fraud. he was set up tho), and handles the finances for the farm, and deals with tax stuff. He often rambles about accountant stuff to Shane, who doesn't understand a lick of it.

Leon is allergic to cats, but they still keep a cat around the farm.

Leon's full name is Leonard Valentine Locke. DO NOT call him Leonard, he despises his full name.

^ This is leon :3

^ this is his sdv sprite i made :3 (pixel art is a pain in the ass in procreate btw T_T)

ok sad shit below this, read at your own risk.

So shane has always been a big influence on my oc, Leon (it was mostly subconscious, I didn't realize Leon was so similar to Shane until a couple of months ago)

They're both suicidally depressed and alcoholics, and both struggle with their sense of self-worth.

I believe that Shane drinks because he lost two close friends who meant a lot to him (Jas' parents), and didn't know how to deal with the grief. He'd already had a bit of an issue with alcohol before, but nothing like it would become.

Leon drinks because he had a shit childhood and a shit life. He hates himself, and struggles with major depression. He's on antidepressants, and meds for bipolar 2, which react poorly with the alcohol, worsening his symptoms, and making him heavily suicidal. He always had a problem with alcohol, but it became significantly worse when he shot and killed his father. While it was self-defense, his now boss, Zalu Merriweather, used it against him to get Leon to work for them. That sent Leon into a downward spiral, and he ended up nearly dying multiple times.

He ended up in Stardew Valley with his bodyguard, Phillip, because of some lore thing idk. what happens in stardew valley isn't canon to my story, so i haven't put too much though as to why Leon ends up there lmao

But Leon finds shane, and they are two drunk peas in a pod. They get along well, (perhaps too well), and are both worsening the other's alcoholism, since Shane now has a drinking buddy, and leon thinks shane's hot af, but leon prefers to be drunk when he sleeps with someone.

Then shane's six-heart event rolls around, and leon doesn't want to shane to end up like him. Shane decides he's going to get his shit together.

Leon doesn't get sober yet, tho. He's still drinking and struggling, but with Shane now being sober, he doesn't want to be a bad influence.

Eventually, shane and phil are able to help leon give up alcohol.

Leon gives it up entirely, but Shane is able to have a few beers every now and then.

Leon gains weight after quitting alcohol, and it really fucks with him. He had an ED when he was younger, and has bad body dysmorphia. Seeing his body become "ugly" by his standards almost makes Leon relapse, but he works through it.

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 12.3.2024

I gave up.

So, what happened was, shortly after last week's update, I had to re-direct my attentions to Getting Ready for Thanksgiving, and so I was like "yeah, this is fine, this is a good opportunity to Think About My Fanfic, and when the holiday is over, I'll have some stuff to write." Except that the more I thought about my fanfic, the more I realized that I do not love it and I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to make myself love it and I simply don't and I don't want to work on a thing I don't love. I want to love it! I love the parts that I wrote 3 years ago!

I don't remember why, but I decided I wanted to read my weird Inuzuri Teens story. In particular, I wanted to read the insane ending, which I have told myself repeatedly I need to change if I ever want to post the story. I read it and I said "this is good actually. making sense is for chumps" and decided I wanted to work on that story instead, and so that is what I have been doing.

I don't think this is actually a permanent feeling. I'm not really giving up on a little in love. I think I am just feeling very mean right now and I'm mad a lot and I don't really want to write something nice and funny. The Inuzuri story is about the dissolution of a friendship and the death of a young person and that's why I've never finished it, but I think I feel mean enough to do that right now, so that's what I'm doing with those feelings. I am constantly inventing new and innovative forms of personal self-therapy, and I feel like my old therapist who never knew what to do with me really would have loved this one.

I don't know whether or not to bother with my stupid wordcount goal anymore. Right now, it seems very made-up and stupid. Normally, I'm pretty big on giving up things once they no longer serve, but I also feel like I'm going to be mad at myself for not meeting it. ::scrolls up to look at the gif at the top of the post. scrolls back down again::

I wrote a scene this week that I have been thinking about for ages and ages and I think I like the way it came out, except for the fact that a) I will have to edit a part later on that I have always really liked and I'm kinda pissed about that, and b) it is 3100 entire words which is more than twice as long as the next longest scene in this fanfic and I'm not too happy about that. Most of the story is in these little bite-sized chunks, and they often sort of flow into each other, so maybe it's okay. I'm a little worried that the seams between the stuff I've already written and the new stuff are going to be very visible. idk

I also went through and converted the whole thing into present tense--it was in a big sloppy mishmash of past and present. Previously, I couldn't bring myself to decide which one I wanted, but go places is present tense and I want it to match go places. I also made an outline, which is how I figured out the thing above.

Oh! Also, I have been really unhappy with GoogleDocs for some time, so I decided to give ellipsus a try (I tell you, I was really going thru it this week). It's...fine? It is occasionally a teensy bit laggy, which I mostly notice when I'm doing a search (I use the search feature a lot because I have a bad tendency to get enamored of a word and then use it too much). This is a little better in Chrome than Firefox, which has changed my entire work flow, because I have Tumblr open in Firefox, and now it's "far away". This may actually be for the best. I am not sure. Ellipsus also has this "draft" system, which is pretty much like every software version control system I've ever used, so I get it, but I'm not sure it suits the way I work. Nothing about Ellipsus precludes using my old multi-document system, and maybe I'll find it useful in the future. I'm not going to complain about a feature just because I personally don't have a use for it. I had numerous beefs with GDocs, but the #1 thing was the infiltration of ai, and Ellipsus is building its brand on being anti-ai, so I'm willing to put up with a few growing pains for now and see how things go.

I'm also trying to get back into drawing a little every day (most days anyway). Mostly, I just intend to use my art club prompts (I drew a pie yesterday). I do want to draw something for Ukitake week. I'm not going to be secretive: I'm trying to come up with a cool Rukia-Ukitake idea because I feel like they got cheated so bad in terms of captain-lieutenant power posing. I've been going back and forth between Action Posing (which is hard and not my strength) or, like, modern clothes. I'll try to get that figured out this week.

[nirikeehan]

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started? (your turn professor) 🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? ✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

LMAOOO thank you Lucky

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started? (your turn professor)

*CRACKS KNUCKLES* lmaoooo thank you for stroking my ego

I will preface this by saying I do have degrees in creative writing and have taught writing, so I think most of this advice is sort of across the board and could apply to original writing as well as fanfic. Just. writing in general.

As you said in your post, the big one I see is that a lot of beginning writers think they have to write out literally everything that happens from start to finish. This is not true. You can skip scenes. You can summarize events. You can do time jumps. You decide when the curtain rises and falls, and it's actually a learned skill to decide when it is a good idea to show something "on screen" or not. Narrative time doesn't work like real world time and you should get used to manipulating it for the sake of the story. I think this is especially handy in fanfic where, in most cases, you can assume a reader is familiar with the source material.

Also, for some reason, there's a phenomenon I see with hobby writing in particular that I don't think I've ever seen elsewhere. And it is some sort of willful dedication to being bad? IDK man, I've never seen anything like it anywhere else, but I find it especially pervasive in fanfic circles. I don't know where it comes from. Perhaps some perceived counter to perfectionism? But what it really seems to do is mire beginning writers in the same (usually easily fixable) mistakes, which often leads to fatal flaws in their stories and frustration and abandonment. So I maintain that while no, you don't necessarily have to put the polish on fanfiction you would for something you're submitting for school or publication, you should be still be considering a few things.

1) Write for yourself, sure, but also write for an ideal audience. One that exists in your head but would be the perfect reader for what you're writing. Write for that person. Because I promise they're out there. And they deserve the best you've got to offer. Writing is, at its core, about making connections.

2) Acknowledge you're still learning, and that you can always come back and edit it later, but still – give it the best shot you've got now. Think about why you're writing and what you want to accomplish with whatever you're putting on the page. This doesn't need to be a high-minded art goal, either. If you wanna write some smut, and the answer to this is "I want everyone to be titillated by this Blackwall smut" then there it is, your goal. And then every single word you put on the page should be in service of that goal. There should be no extraneous words. If something is off topic or redundant, cut that shit out. Your writing will be better for it.

3) Do not preach to your audience. Please, I beg of you. It is such a huge flag of an amateur writer when when the narrative is so hamfisted with morals – when it's so abundantly clear whose side the writer thinks the reader should be on. This isn't to say you can't have a theme in mind that's informed by your own sense of morality – that's just being human. Exploring complex issues is one of the greatest joys of writing, imo. But resist the urge to make your main character a mouthpiece for your point of view. Always play devil's advocate, try to consider all possible sides, present them, and let the reader decide for themselves. If you've written the characters and situations well, they'll usually agree with you without having to be bashed over the head with it.

4) Related to the above, imagine characters complexly. I see a lot of reductive characters (in fic AND published work) that are flat and one note – the good guys are all good and the bad guys are all bad, etc etc. But people in real life are messy, full of contradictions, with strengths and weaknesses. In writing, you are trying to capture these traits accurately on the page, so resist the urge to reduce any character to one note for the sake of the plot, or because you have personal beef with them or what they represent to you. I had an exercise in college that was called "flawed heroes and sympathetic villains," and that as a mantra has stayed with me ever since.

Besides that, the best advice I can offer is try to read a lot and widely. And I don't just mean other fanfic. Actual, published books, which... lmao, I know in the age of social media is harder than ever. But it is really essential you find books that fit your taste and really speak to your writing sensibilities, because then you can start to pick them apart to understand WHY they work so well on you.... and then you can try to replicate them. And that's really the best way to improve.

I COULD GO ON BUT I'M JUST. gonna stop here before I stay up all night ranting about this. I hope this helps someone!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Oh God, there are so many. I'm still quite partial to this exchange between Meira and Lucanis in the first chapter of Birds of a Feather during the jailbreak scene. It was the first time I was like, okay, maybe I'm really into this dynamic and there's room for me to write Lucanis as an extension of his Tevinter Nights version.

He clipped on a sword belt and slid Vernon’s sword into the sheath. “You’re the navigator. Can you get us back to the ship?”  Meira bit back a laugh. It was like asking if she could count on her fingers. “If you get me down to our boat, I can get you to Illario, no problem.”  “Seems fair.” Lucanis went back to rifling through the various trunks, filled with random knickknacks — the forfeited belongings of other prisoners, it looked like.  When he didn’t let up, she tried to get in his way. “Isn’t time �� er — of the essence right now?”  He took her by the shoulders and moved her out of the way. “First, I need back two things they stole from me: my prayer rope and my artisanal coffee blend.” Meira stared. “Are you kidding?”  “I am not.”  “You can get those things anywhere!” she cried.  “This is patently untrue. The prayer rope is an heirloom, and the blend came from the finest coffee house in Vyrantium.” 

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Oh God, really putting me on blast. LMAOOO

Complicated male platonic relationships are a big one. Kylo and Hux were like this, Samson and Cullen, Lucanis and Illario. Huge fan.

I'm also really partial to POVs where the reliability of the narrator is extremely ambiguous. Samson falls into this category, and Lucanis to some extent, and Kylo Ren, and even Blackwall.

It's also my specific jam where the reader is in on something the characters aren't and playing around with dramatic irony. There's a plotline in the back half of Birds of a Feather where the reader absolutely knows Lucanis and Meira witnessed some fucked up shit after accidentally going through an eluvian in Arlathan Forest. But the more he tries to talk about it to Illario, the crazier he looks, until there's finally a breaking point. That sort of thing is just *chef's kiss* to me.

[giogio1998]

Fun facts about my art process:

Today I was making new JLI art and it got me thinking that I have the same ritual when it comes to drawing the JLI and some of them are very silly and fun so I wanted to share with you guys. Even if you don’t care, reading is important so just read the freaking post lol.

1- I hate drawing men !!! Seriously, drawing Martian and Batman is easy for me bc they have very easy features to draw like Batman’s mask and Martian’s nose. But every time I have to draw Ted, Booser and Guy it’s a struggle.

2- drawing Ted is the hardest, I think it’s bc I shipp Ted and Bea so I always try to draw Ted cuter than the other boys and that pressure makes it harder for me but drawing Ted is the bane of my existence.

3- idk why but Guy always ends up looking super hot. I swear it’s unintentional, but the man always looks so hot, sometimes I look at my drawings and I’m like “wtf Giovana why did u make him look so hot ? “

4- I like making Tora skin pinkish, mostly bc she has white hair so white hair and light skin would look very washed out but I like to think that her skin is like “ice burnt” (?). Idk if that’s a word, I’m Brazilian I’ve never felt cold in my life. All I know is sun burnt lol.

5- the opposite goes to Bea, I like to make her skin light bc, well she is in fact white Brazilian, but I like to make her hair color pop, that’s also why I give her black lipstick and eyebrows, it’s all about the hair.

6- Bea’s hair !!!! I always try to give her the best hair. I make it very voluminous, very wavy and very bright almost as if it’s on fire. I love her hair, also I’m trying to redeem her hair bc of the awful 80’s hair style that DC insists on giving her.

7- I listen to Hannah Montana while making my JLI arts … actually I love all the early 00s Disney channel music and I also listen to podcasts but I prefer listening to music while drawing.

8- if I don’t find a reference the drawing is not happening. Every artist struggles at something and my struggle is anatomy I can’t come up with poses, especially group poses so I’m always looking for references. Once I have my reference everything is fine but if I can’t visualize it I can’t draw it.

9- I love drawing booster’s suit, it’s just so shiny and easy to draw, Guy’s vest and Ted’s suit have too much detail so booster’s suit is just fun to draw.

10- I hate drawing booster’s hair tho I always think it looks stupid idk why I hate drawing short hair.

11- I love drawing skeets. I wish I would draw him more often tho. My reference for skeets is the justice league unlimited version.

12- speaking of references, when I draw Batman I almost always make his cape cover him completely bc I think he moves around like Dracula from hotel Transylvania LOL. Idk why but I treat him like the most unserious character ever.

13- I draw using photoshop, this isn’t a fun fact, that’s actually sad.

14- My laptop is an old Lenovo from 2017 and it crashes constantly. Usually I start and finish a drawing on the same day but sometimes my laptop decides otherwise.

15- my signature is my initials but one time someone commented that it’s looks like a “cursive B” and since then when I can’t get my signature just right I draw a cursive B instead and it works lol.

16- I always give Ted dimples, mainly bc dimples make him look even cuter but also bc I struggle with drawing men so I try to give them different characteristics to make them look unique.

17- I give every JLI member its own layer file while drawing and I always make it color coordinated. So Bea’s file is green, Ted’s is blue, Booster’s is yellow, etc.

18- I name all my layers and to keep my sanity I name them all with silly names like “bea’s million dollar hair”. “Boosters shiny ass suit”. “Tora’s blush she bought from MAC”.

19- I came up with Bea’s suit bc I always hated that she had normal looking clothes instead of a suit like everyone else so I came up with a new one and it was inspired by a pair of boots I saw on instagram once.

20- the JLI is my favorite thing to draw <3

That’s all I can come up with right now, hope this post encourages people to keep drawing bc most digital artists like to appear as if being good at drawing is a magical gift and they don’t struggle at anything. So this is my reality lol

Also the new JLI art will be coming out soon, stay tuned!!! Spoiler alert it’s a glee related post 🤫

[fizzypinkblooded]

Thanks for being up to sharing your headcanons about more sensitive topics in relation to ALNST. The series lays out a lot of stuff that can be explored in this way, but it can be awkward finding someone who also wants to talk about it. I’d be interested in seeing what happens in the inevitable fallout in your modern AU when it comes to ivti and how they feel regarding the stuff you’ve talked about. Their reactions to how the other feels, if they are able to grow and help each other, or if the relationship is just doomed never to work.

That’s already asking a lot so don’t feel pressured to answer any of this right away but I would also be interested to hear about what you think when it comes to a rebel lifestyle in a they both get saved rebellion AU. Also do you have any thoughts about Ivan and how he regards his appearance/body? He doesn’t seem to like his appearance very much with the “revolting tooth” lyrics in Nowhere and also he’s always covered up. I’ve seen people headcanon/write about/draw art where he self harms and I always thought that was interesting.

i think it's a shame modern fandom shies away from it so much, especially in more horror-adjacent media. i wouldn't outright call alien stage a horror, but it has those elements for sure. it's an unfortunate outcome of the bizarre and extreme way purity culture and thought crime ideology has dug its claws into fandom spaces. sighs

generally i get bored easily by nothing but happy stuff. i need the sensitive topics and darker themes to really stay invested and interested, especially long-term. i'm always down to talk about it !

i'm not very good at writing or actually like, finishing or even sharing any writing projects [ sorry subnautica au i swore i would start posting you for mermay and alas i have not ] so whether or not my specific modern au sees the light of day beyond all over the place text posts will have to be seen lol

i can definitely go into that yeah !! ivan is so incredibly self loathing in every way and this is actually why i'm very interested in the idea of ivan being gnc too. like, everyone loves gnc till, me too, i LOVE when characters are gnc. especially a character that's generally portrayed as broad and decently buff.

i think there's also some like. interesting levels to it with the idea of autonomy ? idk. something something ivan having the choice to find comfort in femininity. this is why he's the way he is in my pokemon au, ironically i think the only au where they have a relationship that actually leans more healthy than toxic. overall i don't play with this too much, gnc ivan seems to not be a very loved idea especially compared to gnc till [ which is also just canon To Me ] but i thought it was worth mentioning if we're talking about his appearance and his relationship with it.

i do know one person irl with a very visible snaggle tooth, and she is also very self conscious about it despite it being adorable. so i think it makes sense that, even if ivan didn't have all the specific issues he does, he still wouldn't like his tooth in specific... teeth are just overall a touchy subject for most people, and ivan already thinks he's disgusting.

i could see ivan self harming !! maybe not always in the traditional ways. he certainly self sabotages, that's a good chunk of his relationship with till lmao. maybe his showers are just a 'bit' too hot. a bit of a specific one but given his tooth and how he's always wearing such long sleeves, i could also see him being a self-biter. chewing up his wrist when spiraling kinda deal. he seems like the kind of person to often do it in a very... explainable way ? he gives himself deniability with what he's actually doing. which, also, lets him believe he's not doing as badly as he is because he's not cutting.

AS FOR SAVED BY REBELLION AU !! they would Not talk about shit. i can never state enough, that i do not think they would actually discuss what happened in round 6. even if by some miracle till tries, ivan would shut it down somehow, but i don't think either of them want to talk about it.

there's a fic i really like, What Greater Sorrow? by GoodFoolofIllyria. while most of it is an AU in which, post round 7 till has to raise a genetically engineered child of ivan, chapter 4 is a bonus au of this au in which they were rescued at the end of round 6 and I really like how this fic approaches it. in summary, they don't talk about it and remain very distant for a while. they fall into their schedules and just float around each other despite living together. then, something happens [ in this case, the kid being rescued and ivan having the choice to decide if he wants to raise it or not ] that forces them to actually start being close again. then things just... go on from there. they eventually move into the same bedroom, start to behave like a couple, like it's natural for them.

i like this as a softer, fluffier outcome- even if it's not an actual 'they join the rebellion' au, and there's some aspects not compliant with canon that bug me a little but i can push aside easily enough by saying it's just an au. but even if you're only interested in the angst, the first three chapters of till being a single dad struggling with who ivan was to him, his feelings, and how to cope with this loss all while learning to love his new son is Very good. i need to properly re-read it because it's been a bit.

but yeah, overall, i think ivan would try to avoid till outright for a while. talking at least. he might still sit around his personal space, but not talk to him. it freaks till out a lot and i think his patience with ivan gets pretty short for a while over it.

they both use their schedule and new work to kind of avoid each other. till is very rattled from ... like, everything. he's not sure what to think of ivan, or what ivan thinks of him- he's more confused than ever. because ivan does nothing but constantly contradict himself and now he's shutting himself out of till's life. and it Scares him.

i think during this time till gets to know mizi personally and becomes true friends with her. it'd be good for him to have a close friend that isn't... ivan. i've gone on a bit about till and mizi's relationship, and though the context of ivan also being dead some of it is still applicable.

in the end whether or not ivti are doomed to never work... i think this depends. human relationships are complex and dynamic and ugly. maybe they're doomed to never work, but they're always together anyway. toxicity is, to a degree, home for them. it is for every main 6 in alien stage.

i leave this post with a song recommendation, vulture by bear ghost

[autumndreami]

Art by FERN_rainforest

This art illustration soo abstract and cinema it really brings out choreographers.

Love Inori feminine curves

lot of official art and fanart make look like silly fantasy child story that life is kawaii which pull away from post modern world master work of Medalist it nothing but child kawaii theme story at this point. If want gasp on until real master price you think dramatic not kawaii which in this cases here show in this art here and here. This why Japan is not good at modern anything always on cloud 9 child stuff. Like...idk do with my savant mind but it fucking annoying as hell to see kawaii fucking every where. This why many adult stop growing up they hypnosis into children world that life kawaii. Instead being more mature, modesty and modern for age or keep in balance. :/

Like open song ( full )here have so much compassion for Tsukasa's dream, Inori's dream, Inori and Tsukasa relationship you feel in rhythm of song. it suck people don't make wonderful art capture idea of Inori and Tsukasa like this breathing one and this one.

Morishita suu often gave her character modernly and sophisticate time to time, another over time she switch into cottage core and kawaii kids theme just because it really popular trends just make her story sell well. I noticed after episode 8 her art style has switched in sweet and kawaii. She has her 90s style I am great full for. This what happened you let pop culture trends get to you. :/ I just wish people stop acting so childishly full term and moving into kawaii fantasy.

Explain what post modern art is

And

Also not luxury....such poor development class...-_-; money this money that....

[miiashiifts]

𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 + 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 ♱

i promised i’d update you guys on my manifestations from last week so here is the update!! (+ i’m going to start doing weekly updates on sundays - even though it’s monday today - so i can rant about my cr life to someone other than my diary…)

ok so first, my laptop didn’t get fixed unfortunately BUT i did end up being able to buy a new one thankfully (which i did nawt expect to happen…did you guys know the cheapest laptops at argos are like £400??? tf 😭) so although it wasn’t exactly what i manifested i’m still incredibly happy!!! in a way this new laptop is easier since it runs faster so everything worked out in the end <3

next is something very exciting, i manifested for my insomnia to be gone. i feel much less stress to sleep early and wake up early these days, and it’s been much easier to wake up early in the morning compared to 2 weeks ago - which if you know me you know that’s amazing because getting out of bed is really difficult for me when my depression worsens, so being able to get out of bed at around 8-9am is great for me and i’ve been getting outside in the sun which has been lovely 🩷

i’m still looking out for results for the others so next week i’ll let you all know if anything drastic happenssss

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ ✦ .

k now time for the weekly update!! like i said, this week i’ve been getting out of bed and trying to get outside because being homeschooled & very anxious, i rarely leave the house. on thursday i went on a walk to my local co-op and spent like 15 minutes trying to decide what snacks to get lmaoaoao. i think i need to start walking to places more often because when i go to college in september i’m probably gonna end up having to walk a long way to the bus stop every morning which sucks but it’s whatever!!!

talking about college….me and my mum were discussing what i’m gonna do about college if i fail my gcse’s in may (which is looking very likely considering i’ve been out of education for the past year and 2 months 🌝) and i’m honestly not sure what to do anymore?? my ideal plan would be to go to college and do theatrical makeup, so like special effects makeup and makeup for theatre productions since the town i’m going to college in is very famous for its theatres and i’ve always loved makeup art, but i think if i do have to retake my maths & english exams i’ll have to pick something else for the foundation year because the course i wanna do doesn’t offer retakes or something??? idk my mum tried to explain it to me but i didn’t get it, if i do have to choose another course i’ll probably end up doing media or film (if my college offers it, i haven’t checked yet) because my ultimate dream would be to work in the film industry as a film director - but i’m definitely not equipped for that in this reality (hence why i have a director dr 🙂‍↕️) but i guess i’ll get to that in september or on results day. i’m gonna try real hard to pass my exams since i’m only taking maths, english and religious education, if the course i want to do didn’t need a 3rd pass i’d only take the first 2 but since i grew up catholic i know a lot about religion 😫

thankfully my life is peaceful at the moment besides from my rapidly declining mental health, maybe these weekly updates will be more exciting in the future but i can’t promise anything right now lololol !!! thank you for reading & more shifting posts coming soon i swear i’m in a rut at the moment 😭😭